i am numb to the world today.  the entire week has dragged itself out yet has become such a blur in my mind.  i was asked: isn’t this what you’ve wanted?

yes, it is.

it is different though, to have the end be on my terms and to not have to watch something that i’ve built from the ground up suddenly crash and burn.  i was also not ready for this emotional rollercoaster; i never would have thought that moving would be so hard, that i love santa barbara and its residents this much.

i’ve lost myself to a flurry of frenzy this week and woke up this morning not recognizing who i am.  i guess this is what you call one of those “chapters in life”. 

i am ready now; i am me again; i will conquer the world ahead.